What's In A Name?

I come from a culture where a baby's name carries a wealth of meaning. The process of naming a child is sacred and an honor. Such an honor can be given to a well-respected member of the family or a really close friend - who would then ponder and perhaps even pray about the name for the child. The process could involve dreams, visions and spiritual visitations. Frequently, the name of a beloved relative or historical figure is given to the child in the hope that they will pattern themselves and or their lives after the individual. Many times it will be given in the native language of the child's ancestry for the perpetuation of pride in their culture. A child's name holds all the dreams, hopes, love and blessings the parents hold and want to give to their baby.

Which is why, I think, that the following story has been lingering with me.

http://www.lehighvalleylive.com/warren-county/index.ssf?/base/news-0/122923112231930.xml&coll=3

Heath and Deborah Campbell have named their children after elements of nazism. Adolf Hitler Campbell (3), JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell (nearly 2), and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell (almost 1).

I struggle to understand how a parent could place such a negative burden on a child's shoulders. Naming your child after such a controversial person could only bring down such strong feelings regarding the original name bearer onto the namesake. A parent would be purposefully handicapping their child from birth.

I know some parents name their children after historical figures in the hope that their child will emulate them. But the Campbells claim that they are not racist -- so why name them after nazism?

They plan to enroll their children in school. I don't believe things have changed so much from when I was in school that kids will not exploit an opportunity to tease someone. The Campbells have set their children up as schoolyard targets.

And lastly, my greatest concern is that they have doomed their children to miserable lives. It would take a very strong and noble spirit to overcome such a difficult childhood without becoming bitter and hateful. By the time the children are old enough to understand why they are persecuted and to make the necessary changes, they may have experienced enough to warp them into the type of people they are named for.

Because of my background, this whole situation stumps me. I cannot fathom a person laying a title of hatred on a child as a legacy. Especially when it seems as if the parents are not committed to the ideal they are perpetuating with their children's names.

In any case, I hope that their family will weather the storm well.

Spiritual Gifts

A few years ago, a Young Women's leader I was serving under made a statement that offended me.

To paraphrase, she claimed, 'I have a much deeper respect for those who have sinned and repented than for those who have never fallen away. They (who have sinned and returned), have been through a lot more than those who haven't made major mistakes in their life. And that is why I will always hold a deeper respect for them.'

I was much younger then and had kept myself very clean up until that point - so her saying that - upset me greatly. How dare she say such a thing?! She doesn't know what I've been through! The temptations I've faced! How hard it is for me to hold to my standards!

Now, looking back with more experienced eyes...I see that while the indignation that fueled my response has dissipated, the truth of it still stands. While everyone of course, is free to hold their own views as to what is admirable...I think it is dangerous to allow one's self to travel too far down this track in regards to measuring another's life. The risk of being judgmental is high.

In my own life, having faced the consequences of poor choices, I now possess an understanding of the Atonement and a compassion for the sinner that I might not have had otherwise. Do I think that I am a better person having fallen away and returned - than if I had never sinned at all?

No. If I could go back and change those choices, I don't know what I would do. I think because I made those choices, the Lord then granted me the opportunity to learn what I could from them. As painful as those lessons were, they have helped make me the person I am. I don't know if anyone would purposefully inflict that kind of suffering on themselves, but I am not displeased with the end result.

Deep down in my heart though, I wish I hadn't disappointed my Heavenly Father in that way. I wish that I had always stayed on the straight and narrow and not messed up.

Do I think that those who have never strayed are better than those who did?

No. I think they have a different point of view to share.

And I think together, these different perspectives help fill out our understanding of the gospel.

In Corinthians 12:4-7, we read,

"4 Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.

5 And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord.

6 And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.

7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal."

This scripture came to me when I was pondering on this whole subject. At first, it struck me as an odd passage to come to mind because I always considered gifts of the Spirit to pertain more specifically to talents or abilities given to a person. I never considered life experiences, lessons, trials, sufferings to be gifts of the Spirit as well. That each person's life would be a gift for their Spirit.

We know that we came to Earth to be tested and proved, that we might return to live with the Father. I can better see now, how each spirit in its uniqueness would need a specific range of gifts in varying intensities and operating in their own special ways to help the individual reach their own divine eternal potential.

But each life was "given to every man to profit withal." And that is why we gather together to share. We better learn the gospel through the diversity of gifts. It is one of the reasons we strive to share the gospel throughout the world. The more we share, the more we learn and grow in our understanding of the truth.

I can now forgive that sister for unintentionally hurting me. And lovingly say, that I still wholeheartedly disagree with her statement. And be thankful for all the wonderful gifts that surround me - not only in the talented people I know but in the awesome lives they live.

Why am I up at 5 a.m. on a Sunday?!

This post is dedicated to Chad and Ruth Ann W. Not for its content - simply for the fact that they read this blog. And let me know it. I don't think they know how much their encouragement to post again meant to me.

I didn't think anyone cared what I wrote here. I know my family reads it, but I wasn't sure it really mattered.

Because of a few different things, it's hard for me to just relax and be myself when I'm with people. My self-defense reflex is to put up this facade of a tough, goofy girl - when really, the bulk of my personality isn't like that.

If you really want to get to the essence of me, this blog is my gooey center. So thanks for telling me you enjoy reading about it.


Now that I know other branches of my extended family are reading this...I'm going to try to be better at explaining the points of reference I use...and not assume that anyone reading is LDS. That being said...here's what I wanted to share today...

Last Friday I had the opportunity to speak in the baptismal program of my friend Zach. The sister missionaries had invited me to help them teach Zach in their discussions about the Church and being asked to participate in any of the process was an honor for me.

At a baptismal program we usually have an opening song, opening prayer, a talk (speech) about baptism, a talk on the Gift of the Holy Ghost, the baptismal ordinance, maybe a musical number, a few words from various Church leaders, a closing song, a closing prayer, and maybe some refreshments.

Now Zach and I have built a rapport in that we were both raised in Hawaii. So it's been fun being able to talk to one another so freely. Our common background makes understanding one another easier. Drawing from that, I prepared my talk with the hope of being able to share with him my personal testimony of the Holy Ghost. I wasn't necessarily wanting to give a formal presentation and therefore didn't write down any notes. That makes this recounting of my speech not 100% accurate but I'm sure it will be very close.
When I got up to speak, I was trembling. My hands never stopped shaking throughout the whole speech. (Luckily there was a podium to hide them behind.) At the very least I made everyone laugh when I got up there turned to look at them and whimpered, "I'm so scared." The rest of the speech went something like this...

'For all those visiting or new, it is customary where I come from...where we (signalling myself and Zach) come from that one first greet the congregation and await their response before one continues on with one's speech. And with your help, I would continue with that custom here...

My brothers and sisters...ALOOOOOOHA!
(Audience responded wholeheartedly)

Thank you so much. Now I just had an interesting conversation with a co-worker earlier about plagiarism so I want you to know that in researching my talk I went to the lds.org website and studied scriptures and found things from Elder...I forgot his name...President Marion G. Romney and (remembering the name) Elder Wirthlin's talks on the Holy Ghost. I can't give you specific citations 'cause I didn't write anything down. I was just trying to cram a bunch of stuff in my head to draw from.

(At this point I'm focused on Zach because he was the one I really wanted to give this message to.)
And now, Zach, I am so happy for you. And I know that Heavenly Father is so thrilled that you have decided to rejoin the family and become a part of His Son's Church.

I know that Heavenly Father loves us so much. He created the Plan of Salvation for us. He did it so we could become more like Him. He sent us here to Earth to be tested so we could learn and grow. Part of the testing would be us not remembering our life before this with Him. But He didn't leave us to walk here alone. He gave us a few gifts to help us on our way. One of those gifts was the Gift of the Holy Ghost.
I loved how in the discussions the sister missionaries compared the Holy Ghost to a voice calling out to you as if from across the room trying to help guide you in your life. But after your baptism, you will receive the ordinance of confirmation where the men of the priesthood will place their hands upon your head and give you the Gift of the Holy Ghost - which is the right to have the Holy Ghost with you as a constant companion. He'll be right there walking beside you. He'll become one of 'your boys'.
(Everyone laughed at the comparison.)

As your boy, the Holy Ghost will be talking to you. He'll be telling you stuff you need to know. The Holy Ghost serves a few specific functions in the Plan of Salvation and as you get to know him better I want you to know some of the things he'll be talking to you about.

The Holy Ghost testifies of the Father and the Son. He confirms the truth of all things. He sanctifies those who repent and are baptized. And he is the Holy Spirit of Promise. That Holy Spirit of Promise assuring you that the ordinances done here are carried out by the Priesthood and that they are recognized in heaven and have real value.

Going back over those...the Holy Ghost testifies of the Father and the Son. The Holy Ghost will confirm to your spirit that God lives. That Jesus is His Son and our Savior. And once the Spirit testifies of that to your spirit - noone can take that away from you. It doesn't matter what other people might say or pressures you may face...you will know without a doubt that they are real.

He will testify the truth of all things to you...if there is anything you ever want to know, just ask God and He will tell you the truth of it. Be it temporal or spiritual - any truth you want to know, just pray to Him and the Holy Ghost will deliver the answer.

He sanctifies those who repent and are baptized...now I don't know if you saw it growing up...(talking specifically to Zach)...but do you remember watching musicians before they play music? You watch all the boys and they'll all pluck the strings on their ukuleles and guitars and make sure they all sound the same? That's kinda like what the Holy Ghost does for us. We call it becoming "in tune" with the Spirit 'cause that's what you're doing. He's helping us tune our spirits so they sound more like his because his is in tune with Heavenly Father and Jesus. And the more we listen to him the more like them we become until we resonate the same as they do.

He is the Holy Spirit of Promise...this is the promise that he shares with us that all of this is worth it. That all the ordinances we perform, all the commitments that we make, all the covenants we keep really will lead us to eternal life. It's the promise that should we prove worthy we can live with our families together again forever. And I know that's what we all want..whether real or hanai (adopted), all of us want to see our 'ohana again. We want us all - family and friends to be in heaven together.

There's a couple other things about the Spirit I want to mention...
I know you've read about Gifts of the Spirit. Those come through the Holy Ghost and are given to you to help you and all those around you who you know and will be serving. It's a pretty personal gift. Not that all the other blessings of the Spirit aren't personal..but you'll find out more about that as you go along.
The second is that, now that the Spirit is your boy and walking with you...like any of your really good friends, he'll be looking out for you. Should you be in danger either spiritually or physically, if you listen to him, he will protect you. You'll probably hear quite a few stories about this from the members (of the Church).

Finally Zach, I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost. It is because of it that I can testify to you that God lives and loves you, loves all of us so very much. I know that Jesus lives and that His Atonement is real and in effect. And if you make mistakes, no matter how bad you may drift away and think that you are beyond saving...you are never beyond God's reach. And I mean that in a good way. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet and restored the Church and that President Thomas S. Monson is our prophet today. You're gonna like listening to President Monson he tells cool stories. I'm grateful for the scriptures that we have. I'm so grateful to the prophets of ancient times - back in the day- *wink* who wrote down their counsel and dealings with God as proof that God has ALWAYS loved His children. And I'm grateful we have the Priesthood here on Earth to fulfill these ordinances and that they will stand in heaven. And I'm so glad we have temples that help ensure our families are forever..and that's what I wanted to share with you Zach..with all the aloha in my heart...in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.'

I know what I said was from the heart and I'm grateful I had the chance to say it. I hope it made sense. People hearing said it did. I hope it reads as well.

Malama pono.

p.s. I don't know the answer to the subject question. I just popped awake at 5 a.m. thinking about this talk and my blog.

I'm not that sick. I can still walk.

On a Thursday in December of 1998 (a few days before I got my mission call), my friend, Mitch, gave me a ride on his motorcycle. Unfortunately, I burned my right calf on the muffler of his bike. I took care of it as best as I could but it hurt a lot and I had other things on my mind.

Friday night we were having a dance!

I tried to keep the leg of my jeans off of my burn. I held it up (that got old quick), I tried to roll the pants leg up (it still slid down), 'til finally I just let the material go. It occasionally rubbed against my wound but I was alright enough to get my groove on.

My family kept telling me I should go to the doctor but I would brush them off. Finally, on Monday even I could tell I should probably get my leg looked at.

After examining my leg the doctor informed me that I would need to go to the hospital.

I asked her, "Overnight?"

She said, "No."

I brightened and said, "Oh, for a few hours?"

She gave me a dark look and said, "Try a week!"

Now Sharon is a warm and caring doctor who has known my family for a long time -- she therefore proceeded to yell at me.

'What were you thinking!? Why didn't you come in here sooner!?"

So I told her the truth, "I didn't think I was that sick. I can still walk."

"You see that red line going down your leg? If it had gotten back to your heart, you would have died!"

She was really mad.

Apparently I had a third degree burn that was now infected.

The next few days were some of the most physically painful that I have ever experienced.

'Touching a raw nerve' is not just a saying to me anymore. I know exactly what that feels like.
The nurses would come in and scrape the older dead skin off of the new pink stuff. I was able to see the nerve buds regrowing.

I still had no idea how serious the situation was. (Pigheaded - who me?)

I remember sitting in my bed of the hospital room and asking my mom, "Do you think they'll let me out early? I have to practice my hula for the Young Women's sleepover next week."

My mom looked at me as if I was nuts. "Lehua, you'll be lucky if you can WALK normally after this, let alone DANCE."

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a hula dancer. I am never so happy as when I am dancing. In that moment, I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without it. My spirits dimmed. All the talk of skin grafts and whatnot finally hit home.

At the same time I knew that if I got a priesthood blessing everything would be fine. All I needed was the blessing.

I did get the blessing...and yes, everything worked out fine. I never needed any surgery which surprised the doctors. Me, I just gave them a 'told-you-so' look.

So why am I sharing this experience?

These last few weeks I've been thinking a lot on Repentance. In Sunday School, Abe (the teacher) asked, "Why is repentance important?"

And the thought that came to me was this memory.

Just like my physical wound, sin wounds my spirit. I could slap a gauze on it, maybe some band-aids -- at the very least, then it's covered. But underneath it's still festering and spreading. And left unchecked...it'll kill me.

Meanwhile though, I'm thinking...I'm not that sick. I can still walk. I can still function while I let this sin hurt my spirit. I can still go about my life.

My family saw the dangers and tried to get me to seek help...I didn't listen. Oh, I took care of it after a fashion. Noone could see it if I didn't want them to. But the injury still showed on my face and the way I carried myself - even if I didn't think so.

But it took a really dark time in my life to get the message to sink in. Only then was I ready to heal my soul for real. Not just to treat the symptoms..but to get to the cause and make it whole completely.

And now it's having the faith to believe in the ultimate priesthood blessing. The Atonement. My faith in a priesthood blessing to heal the sick is unshakable. I've seen it work multiple times in my life. I know it's real. The crazy part is I have trouble believing that the Atonement can heal my spirit. Not on any part of the Savior's. It's me. I'm not worthy. I've made too many big mistakes. I've repeated them too many times for Him to not be tired of having to forgive me of them. He's gotta be thinking, 'Yeah, I've heard that before.'

But now, slowly, I realize that the Father's love, my Savior's love and the power of His Atonement is so much bigger in so many ways..than I could ever understand. And yes, He can heal me. And yes, He can love me. And yes, it will be hard. But He will be there to help me. His Spirit guides me to know what I need to do. And in so many ways I am blessed. My life is filled with blessings and as I free myself from the disease of sin, I can see them more clearly.

I don't know how to end this exactly..but if you're reading this..you're someone I love..and I want you to know how loved you are from above too. Don't give up. It's worth it to keep trying.

Random Thought

I think it’s interesting that ancient Hawaiians thought the na’au or intestines were the seat of affections.

Remembering that tonight made me understand the scripture in 3 Nephi 17:6 which reads:
"And he said unto them: Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion towards you."
I never got that scripture until tonight. I always thought it was kind of a weird thing for the Savior to say.

p.s. No, you don’t want to know what got me started thinking about the subject.

p.p.s. I have a more serious blog I’m mulling over still..I’ll post it as soon as I can get it sorted all out in my head.

Peace. One Love.

More Than You Deserve

The theme for Fast and Testimony Meeting on Sunday seemed to be: Recognizing One's Blessings Amidst Trials.

I shared with the branch these thoughts:

I was thinking about a quote I had read a long time ago. In a certain culture (I can't remember which), one of the strongest curses you could wish on someone was to say, "May you get what you deserve."

At the time I remember thinking, "Huh? I can think of way stronger curses than that. Boils on your unmentionables. --Now THAT sounds like a strong curse."

But (as is the case when one is going through struggle), I have since been pondering on things..and that quote came to mind. It occurred to me, what if I only got what I deserved? Now, I've done some good things in my life, but I've made quite a few mistakes, too. What if I only received what I have 'earned' in life?

Luckily, I have a Heavenly Father who loves me enough to give me MORE than I deserve. And who often reminds me that the price of His Son -- included me.

I am so grateful that I can always count on receiving more.

This is what I learned in church on Sunday

On Sunday, one of the brethren in my branch, Nick Walcott, was speaking on the second Article of Faith : We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression.

As he was speaking the realization came to me that by choosing to partake of the forbidden fruit, Adam accepted facing consequences. Eternal consequences are what allow us to know joy and pain/sorrow. Adam and Eve expressed their willingness to be responsible for, to be active participants in their progression. I'd never seen The Fall in that light before.

In Sunday School, Abe was teaching about covenants. He was using the analogy of a leaseholder in a rental agreement (since so many in the branch will be renewing their apartment leases at this time of year.) He asked what type of consequences could result from his living with his roommate without signing the lease?

The thought that came to me was that he would have no claim on the landlord. Should any type of trouble arise, the landlord would be under no obligation to assist or fix the situation. It brought to mind the scripture, Doctrine and Covenants 82:10 : I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say, but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.

So while I do not believe the Lord would ever abandon any of His children, a disobedient child would not have the assuredness, would not have the promise of his aid. You have not bound yourself to Him, so He is therefore not bound to you. It affects one's peace of mind because you feel more uncertain of what your fate may be.

House of My Soul

A few days ago, I was reading in the book, You Own The Power by Rosemary Altea, and came across this passage on page 28, "To see our bodies as beautiful is not vanity. To learn to cherish that which not only houses the soul, but enables the soul access to the planet on which we live, is a joyful thing."

My mind caught on the phrase, 'houses the soul.'

I thought about some of my favorite magazines - House Beautiful, DIY, Better Homes and Gardens...I can spend alot of time looking through them. I'll see a Tuscan villa and think, "That is so beautiful!'' The next section will show me a log home and I'll think, "Now, THAT is gorgeous!'' A few pages later, I'll see a beach home and say, "That is amazing!" Whichever style I see, I can appreciate the innate beauty in its design. Admire the beauty in the uniqueness of each home.

Why, then, am I so hard on the design that houses my own soul? Why do I criticize and complain about the fact that it isn't to society's standards? I comment negatively about the architect's work, and He, being a perfect Heavenly Father listens to my disparaging comments with love.

My thoughts then turned to a favorite story of mine, You Are Special by Max Lucado. I recalled the woodcarver telling Punchinello, "You are special because I made you, and I don't make mistakes."

And after letting these inspired thoughts roll around in my head, I was moved again by the great love that is always around us but sometimes have to remember to feel.

So I am trying now to notice the special touches that have been given to my 'house.' To honor the specific details unique to my design. I was never meant to fit into another's mold. And while every home could use the occasional renovation and sprucing up, I feel less concerned that it is not so trendy. My one purpose is to make it as warm and welcoming to the Spirit as possible. Fashions come and go...but only certain structures are made to withstand the tests of time. I want to be one of them. I know a perfect designer made it possible for me to be so.